Tuesday, August 28, 2012

An element in my own destruction…


This morning I plan to destroy my back yard. Intentionally. I’ve been dreading it for over a year. I know it has to happen, but initiating the destruction of something I’ve spent years maintaining is daunting. I find solace that with this project, I’ve taken the time to compare contractors, select colors, and transplant fauna to prevent collateral damage. The decision is not impulsive, but carefully calculated to result in a net gain.

Many times I must be an agent of my own destruction. As my life, like my pool, springs leaks, I contort myself, using my fingers to plug the holes and maintain the status quo. But at some point, my arms become tired and, as I sag, the trickle I’ve avoided begins. When I spend all of my time containing leaks, I constrict myself with no room to grow.

So this morning I’m throwing in the towel. No more plugging leaks. I begin the almost masochistic process of removing the fence sections and barriers before my pool receives the facelift it deserves. Embracing the change is intimidating, but less terrifying than staying the same. At times, destruction is necessary so that something better can form.

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