Lloyd Dobler makes an appearance in my bedroom

“What are you thinking about?” my husband asked me yesterday evening as we snuggled in bed.

“Lloyd Dobler,” I answered, half-dreaming. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the answer he expected.

“Who?” he sounded a bit alarmed. I guess he doesn’t appreciate thoughts of another guy encroaching on his wife at that time of evening.

“No, genius," his tone woke me up. "Not who. Lloyd Dobler. The guy from Say Anything. I was dreaming of his quote about not wanting to sell anything.”

“Huh?” The gerbil was running, but not going anywhere. I won’t reiterate the remainder of the conversation, or evening for that matter, because that is none of your business.

I found the quote this morning. “I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed.”

What made me think of Lloyd Dobler? Fundraising. Yep. I hate selling crap. It’s that time of year again. The time of year when all of my children’s organizations ramp up to collect our hard earned dollars before we blow them on the holidays. Every single activity that we participate in wants us to fundraise. We’re swimming in fliers of candy, cookie dough, book fairs, food sales, and wrapping paper.

My policy is that we don’t fundraise. Period. Most people interpret this as, “They’re so rich, they don’t need it.” Correct? No. It isn’t because we couldn’t use the assistance. It is because we have a list of priorities and we allocate our money and time according to it. When there is no more money to allocate, that particular activity ceases. 

We don’t fundraise because I refuse to hit up my friends and family for overpriced merchandise that they don’t want or need. I won’t spend my money out of guilt or peer pressure, and I won’t ask someone else to, either. Why is it Grandma Gert’s responsibility to buy wrapping paper so that my child can travel half-way across the country to compete in a competition that essentially means nothing?

I don’t understand the idea of fundraising in general. There are plenty of things I don’t own/buy/do because I can’t afford them. And they will stay that way, because unless it is a dire emergency, I won’t prioritize them with our money. Before I ask someone else to finance it, I’ll shut off our cable TV. Or maybe not upgrade my phone. 

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who thinks this way. At least for me, it's a gift to have people in my life who I know won’t ask anything from me. I take care of myself. You take care of yourself. And when we’re together, we can just enjoy each other because neither of us is peddling crap for another school activity. I will not allow marketing to impose itself into my friendships. No amount of money would be worth it. Hell, Lloyd Dobler appearing in the bedroom was bad enough… He is way too young for me.