11's Birthday Story (or a summary of my day)

If you ask me what we’re having for your birthday dinner,

I’ll ask what you want.

And when you say spaghetti,

I’ll remember we’re out of pasta.

So I’ll add it to the grocery list.

Then I’ll have to find my boots.

On the way to the store, I’ll notice the windshield wiper blade is separating.

So I’ll stop at Auto Zone to have it replaced.

Then I’ll remember we need gas.

And when the car is all finished, I’ll fight my way to a parking space.

Then I’ll want to find a cart without a squeaky wheel.

Walking into the store will make me realize we’re out of sidewalk chalk.

So I’ll go to the craft aisle.

In the craft aisle, I’ll remember that your four-year old sister has to bring a painted egg crate to school tomorrow.

So I’ll have to buy some paint.

And once the paint is in the cart, I’ll need brown eggs for their paper carton.

I’ll probably sigh and roll my eyes.

When I pick up the eggs, they’ll remind me that I’m hungry.

So I’ll start toward the ice cream aisle.

I’ll grab a bag of chocolates and three rolls of paper towels along the way.

On the way to the ice cream, I’ll pass the pasta aisle. It will remind me about the spaghetti.

So I’ll grab a box and throw it in.

When I arrive at the register, I’ll notice I left my credit card in the car.

So I’ll annoy all the customers and shuffle out the door to find it.

Once the groceries are paid for, I’ll drive home.

Then I’ll ask you to bathe your little sister while I unpack.

And once the groceries are done, you’ll ask, “Did you finish dinner?”

And I’ll ask, “What did you want?”

Then I'll send your sister to her room for screaming and write it all down instead of cooking it for you.

And that’s why I don’t remember. I love you. Happy Birthday 11.

The Things We Think But Do Not Say

Recognize that title? It's from Jerry Maguire, my favorite movie of all time. And a fitting reference for today, I believe, since it's the title of Jerry's memo. His co-workers are touched by his honesty, they applaud and congratulate his efforts, then he's fired because no one likes to discuss or admit an ugly truth.

Yesterday, to no fanfare and to my shock, I received an email informing me that my book is now for sale on Amazon. I had to walk away from the computer for a while to compose myself. That’s how I deal with everything. I walk away from it until I can figure out how to handle it. There is probably something wrong with me. I should be over-the-moon, cracking-open-champagne excited. Instead, I’m terrified.

I’m not used to being scared. Through school, my career, and even as a mom, I’ve always felt confident. Especially when it comes to my career, I’ve actually never considered myself anything but competent. However, this book puts a whole new spin on things.

When people label me as a writer, it makes me uncomfortable. I’m not illiterate, but I have no delusions of grandeur when it comes to literature. My book was a silly project. It gave me something to do, to think about, to talk about other than my kids and husband. I never truly thought I’d finish it, much less find someone willing to publish it. Each step of the way was a small challenge, and Lord knows, I can’t resist a challenge.

This is the first time in my life I’ve done anything I don’t already know I’m good at. And I’m doing it in front of everyone I know. They’ll see a side of me that they never knew existed. Everyone thinks things they don’t say, but to put those thoughts into words – to explore your mind and place it on a table for public consumption – is much more frightening in actuality than it was in theory.

My husband asked me what will happen when our kids are older and want to read it and I told him that it doesn’t bother me. I want to teach them to both achieve and fail with equal grace. I want them to feel free to be themselves with the knowledge that I’ll love them regardless, and part of that will be admitting that I’m just as weird as they are. Or possibly a little more so.

So I hope you want to read it, but as I tell everyone, it isn’t a condition of friendship. If my book becomes the world’s most time-consuming paperweight, I’ll still be proud that I wrote it.

Available in paperback on Amazon - click here

Available for Amazon Kindle - click here